If u would read my "Memori Muharam" below,U would notice that I had to break it into 5 parts. Have been having problems publishing my posts and just wanna let u people know that it's rather frustrating BUT...please..believe me...I DO have stories to tell....
So read on..
...and still counting...
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Sunday, 28 January 2007
Memori Muharam ( part 5 and the finale )
...continued from part 4...(PLEASE!! don't be lazy. Read my previous posts...)
I went out,without changing my outfit,to her primary school to fetch her home. At home,during the funeral rites,I refused to talk to anyone. Some relatives noticed the change in me and one of my uncles tried to console me and said that he knew I was holding back and he asked me to let go of my grief..Told him I couldn't cry anymore although I knew she meant the world to me.I don't really know why.I grieve for her but maybe I just don't wanna lose it there in front of the family. When it was time to go to the cemetery,I completely blacked out due to a very high fever,which came on sooo suddenly.My uncle stayed behind to bring me to the doc.At night,my relatives bunked in.Some of us,including me,decided to sleep in the room where she died.But as the nite grew,I noticed that they scampered out one by one to sleep in the living room,leaving me all alone.Were they scared?I don't know.I just knew that I shouldn't be afraid of the shadows of my loved ones. In the morning,while they were busy talking among themselves about strange 'noises' that they heard thru the nite,I was thinking of how to cope with the fact that she is no more with me.
Meeha bte Asmawee.
Years have passed.But forgotten,she will not be.For she , and all my loved ones who have gone, will always be mentioned in my prayers,for as long as I live.
Al-Fatehah.....
I went out,without changing my outfit,to her primary school to fetch her home. At home,during the funeral rites,I refused to talk to anyone. Some relatives noticed the change in me and one of my uncles tried to console me and said that he knew I was holding back and he asked me to let go of my grief..Told him I couldn't cry anymore although I knew she meant the world to me.I don't really know why.I grieve for her but maybe I just don't wanna lose it there in front of the family. When it was time to go to the cemetery,I completely blacked out due to a very high fever,which came on sooo suddenly.My uncle stayed behind to bring me to the doc.At night,my relatives bunked in.Some of us,including me,decided to sleep in the room where she died.But as the nite grew,I noticed that they scampered out one by one to sleep in the living room,leaving me all alone.Were they scared?I don't know.I just knew that I shouldn't be afraid of the shadows of my loved ones. In the morning,while they were busy talking among themselves about strange 'noises' that they heard thru the nite,I was thinking of how to cope with the fact that she is no more with me.
Meeha bte Asmawee.
Years have passed.But forgotten,she will not be.For she , and all my loved ones who have gone, will always be mentioned in my prayers,for as long as I live.
Al-Fatehah.....
Memori Muharam ( part 4 )
...continued from part 3...
I uttered my destination to him in between my teeth,shivering with cold.I also apologised to him for wetting the seat with my drenched self.As he drove,he noticed my uncontrollable sobs and asked me bluntly if there was a family death. I thanked him for his understanding and he drove me quickly but safely.May he be blessed because he did not want to take the fare from me and that he wanted to do a sedekah.
Back home,tears and cries from tired faces greeted me from the staircase.I surprised everyone when I showed up in a drenched state but no more tears.No more tears. How come?..I don't really know.Took a step of faith and courage and went up to face my motionless Gran on her bed.I looked at her peaceful sleeping face and whispered:'Innalillahi wainnalillahi raji'uun'(From God we came and to God we return)
My cousins rushed in one by one,in their school uniforms,crying.I looked around.Where's Lela?
I uttered my destination to him in between my teeth,shivering with cold.I also apologised to him for wetting the seat with my drenched self.As he drove,he noticed my uncontrollable sobs and asked me bluntly if there was a family death. I thanked him for his understanding and he drove me quickly but safely.May he be blessed because he did not want to take the fare from me and that he wanted to do a sedekah.
Back home,tears and cries from tired faces greeted me from the staircase.I surprised everyone when I showed up in a drenched state but no more tears.No more tears. How come?..I don't really know.Took a step of faith and courage and went up to face my motionless Gran on her bed.I looked at her peaceful sleeping face and whispered:'Innalillahi wainnalillahi raji'uun'(From God we came and to God we return)
My cousins rushed in one by one,in their school uniforms,crying.I looked around.Where's Lela?
Memori Muharam ( part 3 )
...continued from part 2...
She's not going to wait for me..
I remember vividly when weeks b4 her death,the doctor broke the news that she's beyond cure and that we shud all be ready for 'it'.Every nite,I kept vigil beside her bed,reciting the Quran.Calls from then-boyfriend were ignored. I prayed to Allah that if she were to be taken away,I'm ready and redha as I didn't want to see her suffer anymore.She was already bed-ridden,paralysed from torso down.We took turns staying awake through day and nite,and I even took a week's leave from work. Alas,when I had to return to work on that fateful Monday morning,I received the dreaded call from my mom,saying that she breathed her last about half an hour after I whispered to her ear that I got to go back to work and that I'll be with her again later in the evening. I clammed up the mug that I was holding for the morning drink and after informing the boss,stormed off from the building. My mind was a thick cloud of uncertainty and disbelief.I decided to take a cab home.Taxi.Taxi.Half and hour by the roadside.No taxi.Adding to the drama,the sky opened up to unleash its merciless downpour.I was without an umbrella.I murmured her name.I just walked along the then-halway-reconstructed Raffles Hotel that underwent renovation towards Raffles City or Sogo as it was known then,hoping to get a cab from the stand. Passers-by glued their eyes on me as I walked in a daze,fully drenched,my wet long hair covering 3/4 of my face,in my blue&white mini kurung which clung tightly to my body.My tears went unnoticed as the rain continuously pour down on me..I finally got a cab driven by a Malay uncle.
She's not going to wait for me..
I remember vividly when weeks b4 her death,the doctor broke the news that she's beyond cure and that we shud all be ready for 'it'.Every nite,I kept vigil beside her bed,reciting the Quran.Calls from then-boyfriend were ignored. I prayed to Allah that if she were to be taken away,I'm ready and redha as I didn't want to see her suffer anymore.She was already bed-ridden,paralysed from torso down.We took turns staying awake through day and nite,and I even took a week's leave from work. Alas,when I had to return to work on that fateful Monday morning,I received the dreaded call from my mom,saying that she breathed her last about half an hour after I whispered to her ear that I got to go back to work and that I'll be with her again later in the evening. I clammed up the mug that I was holding for the morning drink and after informing the boss,stormed off from the building. My mind was a thick cloud of uncertainty and disbelief.I decided to take a cab home.Taxi.Taxi.Half and hour by the roadside.No taxi.Adding to the drama,the sky opened up to unleash its merciless downpour.I was without an umbrella.I murmured her name.I just walked along the then-halway-reconstructed Raffles Hotel that underwent renovation towards Raffles City or Sogo as it was known then,hoping to get a cab from the stand. Passers-by glued their eyes on me as I walked in a daze,fully drenched,my wet long hair covering 3/4 of my face,in my blue&white mini kurung which clung tightly to my body.My tears went unnoticed as the rain continuously pour down on me..I finally got a cab driven by a Malay uncle.
Memori Muharam ( part 2 )
..continued from part 1...
I remember one devilish lady that barred me from entering her house.I could not go beyond her red concrete stairs.I swore that I would not be insulted in my life and neither will my Gran.I swore to be a successful person not in money-material,but as a successful thinker.I would put these people to shame.
Despite that,she always advised me to endure hardship and said that there's always sunshine after rain.I continued helping my Gran in her work.I would sell kueh that she made.I would pound chillies with the ancient batu giling in a terkangkang pose.Hard work,but as long as she's beside me,we found solace in each other.She taught me how to pray for the first time,alongside her,in our boyan-telekung that she sewed herself.It had sleeves to put yr arms in for easier Takbiratul-Ihram.She introduced me to self-sufficiency,appreciating every little thing,every morsel that were granted to us.She made me love kuah-celok,cencaru sumbat and more Boyan goodies.She taught me the Boyan (Bawean) language,in which I practice till now,to anyone who knew the unique accent.She sent me to madrasah and nursed me to health whenever I was gravely ill.She would protect me from anyone who despises my Madras heritage. She could protect me from lustful eyes of the kampung boysShe would protect me if anyone ,including my mom,tried to lay a finger on me.I was her darling,and for that I was loathed by some..She would ensure my wellbeing.In return,I always told her how I'm gonna grow up,excel in studies,get a good job,and shower her with luxurious necessities and make sure she'll be served.And everytime when I said that, she would just crack a smile that spelled "insya Allah..."
But alas...I couldn't predict the future.
I remember one devilish lady that barred me from entering her house.I could not go beyond her red concrete stairs.I swore that I would not be insulted in my life and neither will my Gran.I swore to be a successful person not in money-material,but as a successful thinker.I would put these people to shame.
Despite that,she always advised me to endure hardship and said that there's always sunshine after rain.I continued helping my Gran in her work.I would sell kueh that she made.I would pound chillies with the ancient batu giling in a terkangkang pose.Hard work,but as long as she's beside me,we found solace in each other.She taught me how to pray for the first time,alongside her,in our boyan-telekung that she sewed herself.It had sleeves to put yr arms in for easier Takbiratul-Ihram.She introduced me to self-sufficiency,appreciating every little thing,every morsel that were granted to us.She made me love kuah-celok,cencaru sumbat and more Boyan goodies.She taught me the Boyan (Bawean) language,in which I practice till now,to anyone who knew the unique accent.She sent me to madrasah and nursed me to health whenever I was gravely ill.She would protect me from anyone who despises my Madras heritage. She could protect me from lustful eyes of the kampung boysShe would protect me if anyone ,including my mom,tried to lay a finger on me.I was her darling,and for that I was loathed by some..She would ensure my wellbeing.In return,I always told her how I'm gonna grow up,excel in studies,get a good job,and shower her with luxurious necessities and make sure she'll be served.And everytime when I said that, she would just crack a smile that spelled "insya Allah..."
But alas...I couldn't predict the future.
Memori Muharam ( part 1 )
To all Muslim readers, Salam Maal Hijrah 1428.The date is supposed to bring a ray of hope to us but somehow,to me,it portrays a painful memory when at this day of the muslim calendar,ie. 20th July 1990,I lost my beloved Granny.She died from multiple diagnosis.Although she's not my real biological Grandma,(she adopted my Mum)I have always regarded her as my own,eversince I could remember her voice and recognise her face.She's my Granny and my Mum,all rolled into one woman of substance.I lived with her as my parents were working when I was still little.Born in the kampung,No. 97B,Jalan Alsagoff is my world.My parents were also from the same area but quite further away from us,at Jalan Ubi,taking along my big sis Icah with them,leaving her under the care of Mak Esah the babysitter.So,I remained with Gran and Awa(her late husband who died 11 years after)until we moved to the humble little 3-room flat in 1978.I remember her as my mentor and saviour.She was the face of love that greeted my eyes from sunrise and the one to serenade me to sleep.She would force down half-boiled eggs with kicap as breakfast of the champions for me every morning without fail,before sending me off to the kampung's PAP kindergarten.She would tocang my long keling hair after slapping my head with minyak MBR.(the decade's most trusted hair oil)that eventually lead to my present thick jet-black hair.She's a cat-lover who would always entertain me with her Perang Jepun stories while cuffing my ankles with her nimble but strong fists,rummaging through her hair in search of kutu.
Although Awa was working,she was independent and resourceful.She would make kueh for me to sell around the kampung and worked as a washerwoman,to boost her duit pasar so as to give me the best that she could afford.I would follow her to the houses of the rich and helped to wash,wring and dry out the clothes. Daily.I remember
Although Awa was working,she was independent and resourceful.She would make kueh for me to sell around the kampung and worked as a washerwoman,to boost her duit pasar so as to give me the best that she could afford.I would follow her to the houses of the rich and helped to wash,wring and dry out the clothes. Daily.I remember
Saturday, 6 January 2007
A shoulder to cry on..
I wanna say something.Something extremely weird happened to me yesterday night. As the sun was leaving the day, a tremendous sense of sadness engulfed me,overcasting a shadow of doubt deep within my heart. This uninvited feeling came about slowly but rapidly palpitating me into a horrific halt. If u are starting to think 'what the heck is she talkin about',...well, guess what...it's even harder for me to explain what is it that I was feeling...
I was going about doing what I always did around that time (well,come to think about it,I don't really know what I did..)..chatting away with the kids,fixing dinner,n stuff like that...and it came. A suspension of feeling in the form of a mega-magnitude of worry, sadness, sorrow, anxiety, guilt, fear, extreme fear, extreme extreme fear, brewed in me. I can't tell u guys what the cause was, although I knew WHY I felt that way. Really can't tell. But the question is: why is it so damn EXTREME? These expressions came about throughout our lives commonly and we managed to hold it down. But yesterday was an exception. I was propelled into a self-concocting well of tears that could very well drown my own eyeballs. I don't feel like smiling. I don't think that I wanna be happy again.I suddenly felt this dreadful feeling of : what if I can't smile anymore? I need this smile to give me the sun and to dry up my rain.I tried to stay calm and sort this killing feeling inside me but it got me and I finally succumbed into a deep sorrowful act. I cried - like I never cried before. My heart spoke hand-in-hand with my mind,in a language of broken tears.Prayed for an answer.Prayed for strength. Prayed for protection. Only Allah knows what I was feeling and the answers to my questions. My heart felt mutilated - wrenched,ripped,torn. I couldn't sleep and would not sleep.It went on thru the dragging night. Hub asked me what was wrong. I couldn't answer him. I just asked for permission to give some space for me to let go of my flooding tears. I told him I don't want 'anything bad to happen'. He felt frustrated that I was talking in circles, adding that we would not be called a normal human being if we were to know the answers to every question.
Late into the night, God answered my prayers and the 'nasty' feelings subsided at a steady pace. Call me a paranoid if u want. I don't care. But I knew if my prayers weren't granted, I don't know how I could carry on anymore.....
I just thot of sharing this with u. I was thinking :
When you sail in the sea of life,
Do not avoid the storms and rough waters,
Becuz calm seas,
Will never make skillful sailors.
God is Great and may you always be blessed,my loved ones.
(Abg - I luv u..)
Salam Sayang, Salam Ukhwah,
Sayang Suhana.
I was going about doing what I always did around that time (well,come to think about it,I don't really know what I did..)..chatting away with the kids,fixing dinner,n stuff like that...and it came. A suspension of feeling in the form of a mega-magnitude of worry, sadness, sorrow, anxiety, guilt, fear, extreme fear, extreme extreme fear, brewed in me. I can't tell u guys what the cause was, although I knew WHY I felt that way. Really can't tell. But the question is: why is it so damn EXTREME? These expressions came about throughout our lives commonly and we managed to hold it down. But yesterday was an exception. I was propelled into a self-concocting well of tears that could very well drown my own eyeballs. I don't feel like smiling. I don't think that I wanna be happy again.I suddenly felt this dreadful feeling of : what if I can't smile anymore? I need this smile to give me the sun and to dry up my rain.I tried to stay calm and sort this killing feeling inside me but it got me and I finally succumbed into a deep sorrowful act. I cried - like I never cried before. My heart spoke hand-in-hand with my mind,in a language of broken tears.Prayed for an answer.Prayed for strength. Prayed for protection. Only Allah knows what I was feeling and the answers to my questions. My heart felt mutilated - wrenched,ripped,torn. I couldn't sleep and would not sleep.It went on thru the dragging night. Hub asked me what was wrong. I couldn't answer him. I just asked for permission to give some space for me to let go of my flooding tears. I told him I don't want 'anything bad to happen'. He felt frustrated that I was talking in circles, adding that we would not be called a normal human being if we were to know the answers to every question.
Late into the night, God answered my prayers and the 'nasty' feelings subsided at a steady pace. Call me a paranoid if u want. I don't care. But I knew if my prayers weren't granted, I don't know how I could carry on anymore.....
I just thot of sharing this with u. I was thinking :
When you sail in the sea of life,
Do not avoid the storms and rough waters,
Becuz calm seas,
Will never make skillful sailors.
God is Great and may you always be blessed,my loved ones.
(Abg - I luv u..)
Salam Sayang, Salam Ukhwah,
Sayang Suhana.
Tuesday, 2 January 2007
First to Bata...then to school
...ooohh...3rd January. A date that'll mark the 1st day of school.Mixed feelings accompany the various needs of the students. Some excited,some not.For the not,the dreaded mornings would be the prime culprit,followed by the homeworks n stuff. For the excited?..well...maybe the reunion of frenz or 'boyfrenz'?.Hmm...
I'm very,extremely,absolutely,famous for being the most 'LAST MINUTE'person on the face of this earth.(ask my frenz,and they'll agree to it simultaneously)Therefore,it is only today - yes - today, that I just bought the girls their shoes.Was thinking of buying them earlier,but thot that their feet might grow a little more bigger if I shud buy them during the holidays.*Lame excuse*...Anyway,not @Bata,..but the little shoe shop downstairs that u can see from my kitchen window.Though not exclusive,I'm proud to patronize it for the cheap tag and realistically,very comfortable to wear gears.So,bought them their shoes n some stationery.
To add value to my LAST MINUTE LADY title, I washed their uniforms,iron, n everything in the whole of today..hehe...take that!Itu bukan last minute, itu namanya TERROR or as they call it - cari nahas!..However,b4 u shake yr head in disbelief or try hard to senyum sinis, let me tell u this - I am so GOOD as doing things at the eleventh hour,no details ever slipped from my mind!..call me action or snobbish ...up to u..but I am what I am..at least I got everything done MYSELF!..not like some other people yg sikit2 mintak tolong buat itu lah,ini lah...MENYAAAAAMPAH!
9.30pm - I tucked the girls to bed. Some of u out there night think...yek eleh...siang nya!!...but I believe in a good head start for my girlz for their school days...Gone will be the late afternoon getups,..& hello sunshine coz..the year is up and we're off to school again!..
Goooooooooooodd Moorrningg,..Teacheeeeerrr!
I'm very,extremely,absolutely,famous for being the most 'LAST MINUTE'person on the face of this earth.(ask my frenz,and they'll agree to it simultaneously)Therefore,it is only today - yes - today, that I just bought the girls their shoes.Was thinking of buying them earlier,but thot that their feet might grow a little more bigger if I shud buy them during the holidays.*Lame excuse*...Anyway,not @Bata,..but the little shoe shop downstairs that u can see from my kitchen window.Though not exclusive,I'm proud to patronize it for the cheap tag and realistically,very comfortable to wear gears.So,bought them their shoes n some stationery.
To add value to my LAST MINUTE LADY title, I washed their uniforms,iron, n everything in the whole of today..hehe...take that!Itu bukan last minute, itu namanya TERROR or as they call it - cari nahas!..However,b4 u shake yr head in disbelief or try hard to senyum sinis, let me tell u this - I am so GOOD as doing things at the eleventh hour,no details ever slipped from my mind!..call me action or snobbish ...up to u..but I am what I am..at least I got everything done MYSELF!..not like some other people yg sikit2 mintak tolong buat itu lah,ini lah...MENYAAAAAMPAH!
9.30pm - I tucked the girls to bed. Some of u out there night think...yek eleh...siang nya!!...but I believe in a good head start for my girlz for their school days...Gone will be the late afternoon getups,..& hello sunshine coz..the year is up and we're off to school again!..
Goooooooooooodd Moorrningg,..Teacheeeeerrr!
Monday, 1 January 2007
Its 2007 and Aidiladha 1427H! (part 2)
(ini blogger kasi problem lagi lah..sebab tu kena part 2 lagi..jgn malas ah...baca the previous post dulu la...)
Hari Raya Haji pulak, I did the same with my side of the family at my house jugak.But my darling brother Boboy takde pasal kerja. Din pun takde pasal kena duty kat Sentosa bcuz of the countdown - sampai besok pagi.Mmm...miz u , guys...But,anyway.. Food? MasyaAllah! Satay,nasi,sambal goreng,ayam goreng,sambal sotong kering,serunding,kari daging,roti kirai,salad telur,kuih lopes,ketupat,lontong,lepat,roti perancis, and the list goes on...dasyat!Walaupun potluck, tapi bole kasi makan satu kampung!..Karaoke jugak..dlm banyak2,suara Wan dgn aku kira fantastic lah..(hehe)..Icah cuba nak nyanyi tapi kena lempar dgn tapawe..mak pun nyanyi..lagu Emilia Contessa,Uji Rashid plus lagu kental Sanisah Huri iaitu si Baju Hijau..
Takpe lah...sekali2..we had fun jugak and rumahku sekali lagi macam kena bom. Kemas mcm nak rak,sampai the stroke of midnite. Nasib baik lepas tu tak jadi pumpkin aku.Lepas tu tengok Laila Isabella. Walaupun da pernah tengok, aku tengok lagi pasal its sooooooo romantic and cute..(luv u, abg..)...ape2 pun, aku bersyukur kerana diberi peluang menghabiskan masaku berkumpul dgn ahli2 keluarga dari kedua pihak sehingga berakhirnya 2006. Cerita Tahun Baru?...tungguuuu......
Hari Raya Haji pulak, I did the same with my side of the family at my house jugak.But my darling brother Boboy takde pasal kerja. Din pun takde pasal kena duty kat Sentosa bcuz of the countdown - sampai besok pagi.Mmm...miz u , guys...But,anyway.. Food? MasyaAllah! Satay,nasi,sambal goreng,ayam goreng,sambal sotong kering,serunding,kari daging,roti kirai,salad telur,kuih lopes,ketupat,lontong,lepat,roti perancis, and the list goes on...dasyat!Walaupun potluck, tapi bole kasi makan satu kampung!..Karaoke jugak..dlm banyak2,suara Wan dgn aku kira fantastic lah..(hehe)..Icah cuba nak nyanyi tapi kena lempar dgn tapawe..mak pun nyanyi..lagu Emilia Contessa,Uji Rashid plus lagu kental Sanisah Huri iaitu si Baju Hijau..
Takpe lah...sekali2..we had fun jugak and rumahku sekali lagi macam kena bom. Kemas mcm nak rak,sampai the stroke of midnite. Nasib baik lepas tu tak jadi pumpkin aku.Lepas tu tengok Laila Isabella. Walaupun da pernah tengok, aku tengok lagi pasal its sooooooo romantic and cute..(luv u, abg..)...ape2 pun, aku bersyukur kerana diberi peluang menghabiskan masaku berkumpul dgn ahli2 keluarga dari kedua pihak sehingga berakhirnya 2006. Cerita Tahun Baru?...tungguuuu......
Its 2007 and Aidiladha 1427H!
In a blink of an eye, another year just went by.It's 2007,in the midst of Aidiladha celebrations. Some will close an eye towards Hari Raya Haji,but will berhempas pulas to celebrate the new year countdown. Last Christmas,I spent the public holiday,(not christmas,ah..)hosting a feast-bbq-karaoke session at my place with hub's family.Food included satay,mee rebus daging,tomyam steamboat(nak cerita pasal steamboat ni pun,sedih..)and ntah ape2 lagi lah,..tak ingat.Da puas makan,kitorang nyanyi. biasalah,lagu wajib senah (Wajah Kekasih)mesti kena on punya.Dia nyanyi dgn Tipah.Lagu ni kalau tak dikumandangkan, alamat tak sah. Lagu wajib #2, sung by Luncai Emas kita dgn diiringi Ipin, iaitu a medley of lagu2 Radja,Relaku Pujuk by Spider, and the whole collection of M Nasir.Luncai Emas aka (budak2 gelar) Street Warrior, kalau da pegang mike, kirim salam lah kepada yg lain2 yg ada hati nak nyanyi.Dah puas nyanyi sampai 12mdnite,kitorang hentam cerita hantu,movie after movie sampai 4am..terpekik pekau...ah ngkau!.Dorang balik, rumah aku macam kena bom. Tapi tak kisah la...enjoy giler..
Saturday, 23 December 2006
The Sleepless Insomniac
I can't sleep...I can't sleep..I can't sleep... tonite is just another one of those nites in which I habitually stay up till sunrise. I can't help it. Been like this since my school days.(well that explains my dark circles..urgh!).I kind of like to stay up to absorb the pristine tranquility of the darkness.I find the sound of silence beautiful and the mystical ink-coated sky with its sprinkle of diamond-dusted stars,together with soft,wispy clouds underlined with a touch of the moon ray, a mesmerizing sight.Indeed,...perfectly created by God for us to see.Maybe I shud work in some night-shift jobs.hehe..but seriously,while everyone is so obsessed with their 'beauty' sleep, I'm totally on the contrary.Some said that since the universe is being created with night and day,we shud apply to it subconsciously.Well,as for me, if u can appreciate the refreshing gleam of the sunshine in the day, why not admire the beauty of the pitch-dark night?..and like they say,... The sky is at its darkest before dawn...Go figure..
Thursday, 21 December 2006
Then and Now...
This is an old shot of my Mum n Dad,circa mid-60s..
This particular shot of my Mum in her teens (I merged my pic here taken in my teens too)made me realize that I looked like her!...what do u think? The Indian-Malay blood mix that runs in me - rocks!!
Wednesday, 20 December 2006
Then and Now...
hey,hey,hey....I'm back. It's been a while since the last update.Very busy lately.Went to get my final wisdom tooth out.Still sending dad-in-law 4 his chkup, went to get myself a new nitrate. But the best part?..I FINALLY FOUND THE BLUE TILES!!! Credit goes to myself for finding it thru the NC Ceramics' website. Located at Tuas, I immdltly went there to cash-n-carry.Works hv started and tmrw will be the final day where they'll be fixing the toilet.Phew! That's quite a job,huh?
Anyway, spent the heavily-raining Sunday @ Icah's place 2 celebrate Lisa & Hamirul's b'day.Also my 1st time 2 see my latest niece Intan Marissha since she was born on 8th November. (ape punya auntie,sekarang baru jumpa..) Mom was there too. In the evening,we browsed thru some old photos and I chanced upon a few memorable ones..
This was taken when Ira was abt a year old, @ Pontian.
And this one,Adik, also abt a year old,at our old house.
Anyway, spent the heavily-raining Sunday @ Icah's place 2 celebrate Lisa & Hamirul's b'day.Also my 1st time 2 see my latest niece Intan Marissha since she was born on 8th November. (ape punya auntie,sekarang baru jumpa..) Mom was there too. In the evening,we browsed thru some old photos and I chanced upon a few memorable ones..
This was taken when Ira was abt a year old, @ Pontian.
And this one,Adik, also abt a year old,at our old house.
Thursday, 14 December 2006
The Lost December (the season finale)
..(continued from the previous,previous post..go n read them la..don be lazy...I got no choice but to post it bit by bit since blogger gave me some problems earlier..)
Anywaez,..I know that this month would go past me like a good gust of wind. Very fast, but it's breeze will leave me feeling cool and refreshed eventually.So, who said I lost my December?
Finally, a personal quote that I created:
"Time goes by so slowly for those who wait,but flies for those who can't even stay awake."
Go figure.
Salam Sayang, Salam Ukhwah,
Sayang Suhana.
__________________________________
Abg - if u're reading this, I thank u again for yr luv,doa,n support.
Anywaez,..I know that this month would go past me like a good gust of wind. Very fast, but it's breeze will leave me feeling cool and refreshed eventually.So, who said I lost my December?
Finally, a personal quote that I created:
"Time goes by so slowly for those who wait,but flies for those who can't even stay awake."
Go figure.
Salam Sayang, Salam Ukhwah,
Sayang Suhana.
__________________________________
Abg - if u're reading this, I thank u again for yr luv,doa,n support.
The Lost December (Part 2)
...(continued from the previous post)..This particular moan greeted me everyday like the sunrise. So did my cooking request.Gotta have food on the table everyday.Not that I dont coook.(Did I mention I was a great cook?..hehe)But food availability is like 24/7!Breakfast,lunch,dinner PLUS teabreak snacks,and dessert(homemade,I tell ya!)When I questioned " ..Dik, jgn makan banyak2...macam mana nak kurus?"...will only be answered with a melodious'..sape suruh mama masak sedap-sedap?"..(ini cakap masjid punya tau..ini budak2 memang layarburuk..apa kena-mengena dgn layarburuk,pun tak tau...)Complain or compliment? Good cook or bad dietician?Nak marah ke nak besar hati? U decide..And then there were the sibling wrestlings..*headache* macam 'Celebrity Death Match'..There are times when we love them to be around the house during the holidays but SOMEtimes,they make me go bonkers!However,there was a time when Ira n her sis(God bless them) cooked for the family when I was ill.YES.Stove-cooking.Nothing beats that blissful feeling in my heart when all the things you taught were applied into good use -and- in times of need.(Luv u ,girls!)
Initially, I thot NOTHING superb happened this month..but what I said above actually IS THE ESSENCE of it all!..Sending my in-laws for their chkup made me think of how fragile we could get in our greying years, I learned how to care for chronic illnesses, and appreciate their existence. The quality time I spent with the kids could very well be the envy of some working mothers.Being ill made me witness the culinary skills hidden under my girls.Tutoring them myself proved 2 be blessful when they came back with fruitful results.It dawned on me on how true the saying in the OST of HIKMAH that went : "..aku percaya, tiada yang sia-sia...semua 'kan ada hikmahnya.."...and for all that, sesungguhnya aku bersyukur..
Initially, I thot NOTHING superb happened this month..but what I said above actually IS THE ESSENCE of it all!..Sending my in-laws for their chkup made me think of how fragile we could get in our greying years, I learned how to care for chronic illnesses, and appreciate their existence. The quality time I spent with the kids could very well be the envy of some working mothers.Being ill made me witness the culinary skills hidden under my girls.Tutoring them myself proved 2 be blessful when they came back with fruitful results.It dawned on me on how true the saying in the OST of HIKMAH that went : "..aku percaya, tiada yang sia-sia...semua 'kan ada hikmahnya.."...and for all that, sesungguhnya aku bersyukur..
Wednesday, 13 December 2006
The Lost December
I'm trying to stay sober while posting this..not sober as in 'sober' but as in stayin alert. Since my last update, I was - how shud I say this - not exactly in the pink of health. Only God knows what happened to me. It might sound paranoid but for a moment I thot my life journey ends here,(astaghfirullah) but now, I can say that I am back up to my feet again.(alhamdulillah)-well at least for now(insyaAllah)
*thank you my beloved sayang, for your doa*
enuff said
I'd like to say something about this month.We are now basking (well at least for some of us) in the final school holidays for the year.Come a couple of weeks later, school reopens and off we go again, kids and stay-at-home mums alike. Rush!Rush!
Looking back,what did I do during the holidays?..Let's do a quick recap..
I can say it's been almost every week,alternately,I wud be sending my in-laws for their medical checkup,..heavy rain,..my medical checkup,...tutoring the kids for their madrasah exams,...rain again,..kids camp,..endless chores,...whining and hunting for my blue tiles,...prepare house for the HDB repair works,..hunting for school books in which I dont understand why there's a tendency of them being out of stock,..more rain,..more checkups,..and SUDDENLY,..lo and behold, it's end of the year and u can almost hear takbir Aidiladha.(Allahu Akbar!)
I was like...whoa!...slow down,little clock.I haven't even bring out the kids for outings - I repeat outings -not holidays. Going on a holiday in December means risking yrself and yr luggage to be drenched!
Flashback..I remembered I was so excited when school ended on my b'day last month..
I thot: no more fuss n rush in the morning, no more uniform ironing, no more school allowances, more relaxation..not bad rite?..W-R-O-N-G!
Bcuz...suddenly, I heard a voice that went:"Mama..boring ah...makan dah,tengok tv dah,main computer dah, abey adik nak buat ape lagi?"
*thank you my beloved sayang, for your doa*
enuff said
I'd like to say something about this month.We are now basking (well at least for some of us) in the final school holidays for the year.Come a couple of weeks later, school reopens and off we go again, kids and stay-at-home mums alike. Rush!Rush!
Looking back,what did I do during the holidays?..Let's do a quick recap..
I can say it's been almost every week,alternately,I wud be sending my in-laws for their medical checkup,..heavy rain,..my medical checkup,...tutoring the kids for their madrasah exams,...rain again,..kids camp,..endless chores,...whining and hunting for my blue tiles,...prepare house for the HDB repair works,..hunting for school books in which I dont understand why there's a tendency of them being out of stock,..more rain,..more checkups,..and SUDDENLY,..lo and behold, it's end of the year and u can almost hear takbir Aidiladha.(Allahu Akbar!)
I was like...whoa!...slow down,little clock.I haven't even bring out the kids for outings - I repeat outings -not holidays. Going on a holiday in December means risking yrself and yr luggage to be drenched!
Flashback..I remembered I was so excited when school ended on my b'day last month..
I thot: no more fuss n rush in the morning, no more uniform ironing, no more school allowances, more relaxation..not bad rite?..W-R-O-N-G!
Bcuz...suddenly, I heard a voice that went:"Mama..boring ah...makan dah,tengok tv dah,main computer dah, abey adik nak buat ape lagi?"
Thursday, 7 December 2006
PSG Raya 2006 photo updates
To my PSG frenz, I am only uploading half of the pics that we took that day. The other half is still with Ros..inside her digicam. Will update the rest once I can cable up her cam into my laptop. Relive these pics for the moment..
Monday, 4 December 2006
Feeling Blue ( part 2 )
As mentioned, I went to WHC to find some tiles. Was pretty amazed with the vast display of choice that even tempted me to actually change the whole toilet...but hold on....WHAT!..NO BLUE!...what in the world is happening here?!! Most of the colours are earth-toned,shocking yellows but..NO BLUE?..The blue they had semua yang stail poster colour kering punya.Ya Allah!!..I rounded the place a few times to make sure I'm not being taken for a ride but true enuff,..that's abt it!The darkest blue tiles tu pun under the phased out section. The rest are light blue..A feeling of rage began to engulf me but was quickly put out by Ipin. The kids were whining for us to get a total makeover of the toilet. I must say I was quite..no..VERY tempted too..but gotta stick w the budget. I still hv abt a couple of weeks more to hunt.Thot of scouting for it at some other places. But the disappointment of not succeeding it in the first place seemed to bring down my morale.I was thinking what if I couldn't find it anywhere? WHY am I so obsessed with a blue toilet , u asked? I do no..maybe the colour gives me a sense of coolness while 'sweating' our yr business.hehe..Guess I'll have to make do with what was offered to me until I could come up with the full budget to come up with a whole new toilet. In this process,it dawned on me on how PRECIOUS the room is to me. Besides a venue for our 'biological exports', it is one of the most highly-utilized room in the house that one could ever have.And therefore, do not underestimate its purpose,make an investment,make it pleasing to your eyes,make it dear to you as much as I do - as you're gonna find yourself sitting in there everyday,urgently or not,for the rest of your life.
Saturday, 2 December 2006
Feeling Blue...
It's been abt a couple of years my neighbour below complained of a leakage on their kitchen ceiling,leading to the bathroom. Investigations from the HDB showed no signs of source from us but maybe due to the age-old condition of our block,I was 'forced' to agree to repair/change my kitchen toilet's floor tiles. But when they showed me some of the sample tiles, I was like - WHAT!!! A VERY PALE-LIFELESS-ALMOST-WHITE-BLUE TO REPLACE MY COBALT BLUE???? And worse,they only have that under the blue tone..the rest are all hidup-segan-mati-tak-mau punya colours.AAAARRRGGGGGHHHH!!!! Punya tension!The contractors who came to negotiate with me n ipin were taken aback with my snobbish,over the top,attitude. Who cares!Even if I'm to pay half of the goodwill repair scheme,I still have to at least be given a colour that actually matches with the rest of my ice-cool-blue toilet theme!Dorang salah orang la nak suruh I membabi buta (apasal nama babi ni asik jadi mangsa kata2 bidalan , eh?) nak suka2 agree to sign up for whatever that's being offered. I mesti tekan balik punya la. Dorang tak tau I ni Complain Queen yang tersohor kat sini.But they said since they are under contract with HDB,they can only offer a limited number of tile samples.If I want my own,I'll have to bear the cost.
O K A Y LAH...
Even if I hv to fork out a bit more,I've decided to hunt for my own tiles. Bukan ngada2..but I can't imagine having that colour yang mcm seluar dalam putih terkena nila sikit tu to be my toilet floor. Urgh! (ni step kerek ah..)So,the works will commence around 19th Dec. Today,I'm gonna go to Sungei Kadut (alamak...nama pun,tak hensem..)..maybe to White Horse Ceramics (bukan kuda kat kranji ah...)to look for a closer colour..Wish me luck! Kalau tak dapat,I gegar factory2 batu kat situ.Factory batu punya banyak satu Singapore,takkan satu pun takde colour yg I nak?..Takpe..tunggukan keputusannya...
O K A Y LAH...
Even if I hv to fork out a bit more,I've decided to hunt for my own tiles. Bukan ngada2..but I can't imagine having that colour yang mcm seluar dalam putih terkena nila sikit tu to be my toilet floor. Urgh! (ni step kerek ah..)So,the works will commence around 19th Dec. Today,I'm gonna go to Sungei Kadut (alamak...nama pun,tak hensem..)..maybe to White Horse Ceramics (bukan kuda kat kranji ah...)to look for a closer colour..Wish me luck! Kalau tak dapat,I gegar factory2 batu kat situ.Factory batu punya banyak satu Singapore,takkan satu pun takde colour yg I nak?..Takpe..tunggukan keputusannya...
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