Memori Muharam ( part 3 )

...continued from part 2...
She's not going to wait for me..
I remember vividly when weeks b4 her death,the doctor broke the news that she's beyond cure and that we shud all be ready for 'it'.Every nite,I kept vigil beside her bed,reciting the Quran.Calls from then-boyfriend were ignored. I prayed to Allah that if she were to be taken away,I'm ready and redha as I didn't want to see her suffer anymore.She was already bed-ridden,paralysed from torso down.We took turns staying awake through day and nite,and I even took a week's leave from work. Alas,when I had to return to work on that fateful Monday morning,I received the dreaded call from my mom,saying that she breathed her last about half an hour after I whispered to her ear that I got to go back to work and that I'll be with her again later in the evening. I clammed up the mug that I was holding for the morning drink and after informing the boss,stormed off from the building. My mind was a thick cloud of uncertainty and disbelief.I decided to take a cab home.Taxi.Taxi.Half and hour by the roadside.No taxi.Adding to the drama,the sky opened up to unleash its merciless downpour.I was without an umbrella.I murmured her name.I just walked along the then-halway-reconstructed Raffles Hotel that underwent renovation towards Raffles City or Sogo as it was known then,hoping to get a cab from the stand. Passers-by glued their eyes on me as I walked in a daze,fully drenched,my wet long hair covering 3/4 of my face,in my blue&white mini kurung which clung tightly to my body.My tears went unnoticed as the rain continuously pour down on me..I finally got a cab driven by a Malay uncle.